Dhamma Talks - One Is One’S Own Refuge :: Buddhapadipa Thai Temple

Dhammapada says: Who else but the self can be master of the self? With self well-controlled another master is hard to find.

This teaching is often heard in Buddhism. It is characteristic of the Buddha and he always taught this to the world. In this sense, one has to do everything oneself, others cannot do it for one the Buddha, parents, and teachers are a guide only. One has the teacher, or learns the best subject in the world, but in the end, one has to do it by one’s own effort. Otherwise, one cannot be successful, there are a lot of examples of this nowadays.

This is called ‘one is one’s own master or refuge’ for others are just the environment, the guide, the director, or the teacher. It is true that when we were young, we could not help ourselves. Everyone has to get helped from parents, brother and sister, or some relatives, but we have to help ourselves for example in eating, even though we get fed, we have to chew or swallow food for ourselves. Even though we are loved by others and love others it is just outside love, it cannot be with us all the time. We should cultivate inside love in our mind. The idea of loving others in Buddhism is to be grateful to people who give us love, like our parents who took good care of us when we were young. We have grown up, now and in return we have to take good care of them. Gratitude is the good kamma that we should perform.

In the sense of taking refuge in the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha, it has the same meaning. Buddhists take refuge in the Buddha as the teacher, the Dhamma as the teaching, and the Sangha as a good friend, and they have to learn and practice the teaching by themselves. The trio cannot give them anything, but guidance along the path. As the Buddha advised; the teachings exist, you have to learn and practise them, and I’m a teller. It is like the food which is put in front of the hungry man, he has to eat it by himself, otherwise he will starve to death. The teaching of taking refuge in Dhamma also means that the path exists, we ourselves have to follow the path. One thing we have to understand is that if we follow the wrong path, it will surely lead us to a bad destination. On the contrary, if we follow the right path, it will lead us to the good destination.

The meaning of ‘With self well-controlled another master is hard to find’, the Buddha pointed out that every human being had the same ability and faculty if he trained himself. Without training and education, a man cannot develop himself, because he doesn’t know what should be done, and what should not or he cannot establish himself in what is proper to do in life. He will be swayed or distracted by desires and attachments etc., especially in lay life, it is very important to live a life with wisdom which establishes us in what is proper to do.

The teaching for lay people who hope to help themselves, is that they have to know how to deal with life such as education, work, and money. Education; it is because we have to help ourselves in the future that when we are young, we have to learn as much as possible so that we have confidence in our ability and facility. Work; work is a duty of life. We have to work to survive. It is said that we have to work till we die. It is true, it is like the fish that has to swim against the stream of the river all its life, when it follows the stream, that means that it will die. When we work, we have to work with honesty and responsibility. Do not work for the reward, the reward is just a by-product. If we work hard, surely we will get the good by-product called ‘success’. Money, it is just one factor of life nowadays. Much money does not guarantee happiness, because it cannot buy us happiness. The Buddha taught us how to use money in four ways; 1 spending it for the necessities 2 repaying it to the lender 3 lending it to a debtor and 4 depositing it into the bank: which means 1 we spend the money for four necessities; clothes, food, accommodation, and medical care, 2 we look after our parents or those who once helped us, 3 we look after our children or subordinates, for example, supporting them to study, or rewarding them for their good job and 4 we make merit, give donations, or support religious activities. This is the teaching of the Buddha on spending money, this teaching can help us survive in this competitive world. All of these results arise from our own action. A man cannot get things by praying, but he has to put his effort on his work; sometimes he can get his job done easily, but sometimes it is very hard for him to get it done, but one should remember that hardship gives man power or strength.

The teaching on helping one’s self also is found in Dhammapada in the jataka of Kumarakassapa’s mother;

The mother of Kumarakassapa was the daughter of millionaire in Rajagaruha City. She wanted to become a Buddhist nun when she was a girl but her parents did not permit her to do that. When she grew up, she got married and was a good housewife. Later on, she got pregnant, but she did not know that. She asked permission from her husband to become a bhikkhuni (a female monk), her husband approved of that and took her to the temple of Devadatta. She was ordained there. It was not long before, the bhikkhunis saw that she was pregnant and asked her about that. She said, “I don’t know but I did not break any precepts, I’m innocent.” The Bhikkhunis brought her to Devadatta and asked him, “Master, this lady became a bhikkhuni with strong faith but now she has got pregnant. What shall we do with her?” Devadatta thought that if someone had known that a bhikkhuni in his temple had got pregnant, it would have been given him a bad reputation and he said, “She should become a lay woman.”

When she heard the outcome, she was shocked!! And thought that it was not fair for her because it was hard for her to become a bhikkhuni and it was not her fault. Then she said to the bhikkhunis, “Sisters, I become a bhikkhuni with a strong faith and I am not a bhikkhuni dedicated to Devadatta, so please take me to see the Buddha. I will obey his judgement.” And then they took her to see the Buddha and reported the case to the Buddha. The Buddha knew that she had got pregnant before going forth, but for her purity, he invited King Pasendikosala, Lady Visakha, Anathabindika, Jula-Anathabindika and other people to the assembly and let Ubali thera be the chairman of the investigation. Ubali thera, with the committee, asked Lady Visakha to question her. Lady Visakha brought her into the room, then asked when she become a bhikkhuni and examined her hands, feet, belly button and abdomen, and then counted the months and days and knew that she had got pregnant when she was a layman. She reported the investigation to Ubali thera and Ubali thera reported to the committee and the committee told people in the assembly.

Later on, she gave birth to a son. On that day, King Pasendikosala walked past the nunnery and heard the baby’s voice which he knew was that of the bhikkhuni’s son. He wanted to take care of him in the palace, so he begged him from the bhikkhuni. She agreed with the king and gave her son to him. The king named him Kassapa; people called him Kumara Kassapa because he was under the King’s patronage.

When he grew up, whilst he was playing with other boys at the field, they made fun of him and said, “You are an orphan.” He reported that to the King and asked him, “Who are my parents?” The king said, “Those step-mothers are your Mum.” He said, “I should have only one Mum, not many like this, please tell me the truth.” When the king was begged, he told him the truth. When he knew the truth, he was sad and asked permission to go forth from the king. The king did not destroy his faith, but permitted him and took him to see the Buddha. He was ordained as a samanera (novice monk). When he was twenty years old, he became a bhikkhu (monk) in the Buddha’s temple.

Kumarakassapa Bhikkhu learned meditation from the Buddha, and went to the forest. There he could not attain enlightenment, even though he tried very hard. He thought that he should come and learn more meditation methods from the Buddha and decided to come back to see the Buddha. On the way, he spent over night at Undha forest with a monk who asked him questions, but he could not answer him, so he took the puzzles to ask the Buddha.

When Kumarakassapa Bhikkhu got to Jetawanaram where the Buddha was staying, he asked the questions which he couldn’t answer, of the Buddha. The questions are: a Brahman tells his pupil to dig out a termite’s hill, which smokes out at night and flames out by day, with a spade etc. The Buddha answered him, “The termite’s hill” means a human body, “it smokes out at night” means it has a thousand plans at night, “it flames out by day” means working by body and speech all day, a Brahman means the Buddha or the enlightened ones, a “pupil” means a practitioner or a meditator, a “spade” means wisdom or meditation and “dig out” means practice.” When he considered those questions and answers, he became enlightened.

As for his mother, the bhikkhuni, since her son had been taken from her, she could not practise the Buddha’s dhamma because she missed her son. She had been trying to hear about him till she knew that he had come to see the Buddha. One morning she was waiting for him on the way where he walked for alms. When she saw him, with overwhelming love, she ran to him and cried, saying ‘my dear son, my dear son’. When Kumarakassapa Bhikkhu saw her action, he thought, “If I talk to her sweetly, my Mum will not be able to cut off her love and attachment to me. I would not like to deter my Mum from the progress of meditation.” Then he said to her rudely, “Bhukkhuni, what are you doing here, how long have you been a bkukkhuni and in that time have you ever learned and practised the dhamma of the Buddha. Why do you act like a child?” When she heard that, she thought, “Why is my son talking to me like this” and asked him again, “My son, why do you talk to me like this?” He spoke to her more rudely than before. She thought, “For ages, I have been hearing of him and waiting for him but he has never loved me, why have I to be sorry” and went away. She cut off love and attachment to her son and practised meditation. It was not long before, she attained enlightenment. Then she knew her son’s intention to help her cut love and attachment.

One day in the dhamma hall, there was a conversation about Kumarakassapa and his mother, “Brothers and sisters, the bhikkhuni was forced out of the order, but she got help from the Buddha and her son as well got help. The Buddha was a refuge for both of them, he was a refuge for the world.” Then the Buddha came into the hall and knew of that conversation, he spoke to the assembly of bhikkhus and bhikkhunis about the bhikkuni who cut off love and attachment to her son and built her own refuge or master. He said, “Bhikkhus and bhikkhunis, those who depend on others cannot attain any progress or development in life, therefore one is one’s own refuge or master, no one else can be our refuge.”

This teaching benefits not only monks but also all people, so Buddhists believe in him and take him as refuge. He is the best refuge for them and they are assured by him that they can work out by themselves the way to escape from their own problems.

:The path of Dhammapada, Vasin Indasara