Anger is an emotion that we have all experienced at some time in our lives. Sometimes it can be similar to a volcano and just erupt, surprising those around the perpetrator. The final straw takes place and the pressure rises and an explosion occurs. This is usually the case for a person who appears slow to anger, however inside of them it is building up until they can take no more. Bang! It’s all out in a burst of fury. Then there are the quick tempered people who flare up at the drop of a hat. We can spot these people and so tread on eggshells around them.
There are many variations of how we can demonstrate anger; however what I want to know is why it happens. Because it obvious that there is a defence mechanism taking place. So who and what are we defending? One instance can be that we say “I am right and you are wrong”. And if anyone disagrees with that statement, then wow, they’re going to get it. Seeing that in black and white is when we can see how misguided that action and reason is.
Another scenario is in defence of who we think we are, be it our social standing or our title. We hear people say “How dare you speak to me like that. Don’t you know who I am?” Maybe this reaction hits our security and we want to defend that at all costs. We can think our view is important enough to be in a rage for and our puffed up important self image is equally important. By thinking and acting in this misguided way we can cause ourselves and others so much harm. We can later regret and have remorse but we can’t retract what ever it was we may have said or done.
Anger is hot and it burns on if not checked, where as calmness is cool. It’s pleasant to feel cool in all situations. So how can we learn to stop heated arguments? How can we become cool? Do you remember the advertisement that said “There is another way”? I t was correct because there is another way. Here it is. It is by learning to be as these three main teachings of the Buddha instruct, they are (To do good) (Not to do evil) and (To purify the mind). Three rules that can help us so much if we can live by them everyday, all day. I have no option than to mention meditation, because there really is no better way to get in touch with our feelings and emotions and to find out why we react in the way that we do. When we know the whys and how’s we can really begin to get somewhere and our reactions can and will change. It is the only way to mention meditation because if I could recommend a pill to take instead, then I would, but there isn’t one. So we have to patiently do the work ourselves. We can find that there is less to defend. We can remove the heat and replace it with coolness. We can find Loving Kindness, Compassion, Sympathetic Joy and hopefully, eventually Equanimity. If we can find these four sublime states of mind then we won’t leave any room for anger. It will be gone and we can become free of it and its consequences for ever.
The 2008 programme of activities is available online, here
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Thoughts and musings to inspire you in everyday life