Learn to Accept the Way Things Are

By Dhammacaro

What makes human beings suffer? One of the answers is that they cannot accept the way things are. Is this true? Before answering this question, I would like to tell a Zen story, which illustrates the matter well. Here is the story:

There was once a woman who was adopted and lived with a certain family. She was always suffering as she kept thinking about herself the thought, “I am just an adopted woman.” This thought hurt her so much, until one day she could not stand it anymore and had the idea that there was no solution to this for her. It was then that she decided to commit suicide.  However, she failed to do this and was helped. She was advised to meditate in order to accept the truth about her life.   So she went to see a meditation master who was a Zen Master. Before teaching her how to practice, he asked her about her life and she told him everything. He advised her, “When that harmful thought comes back to you again, you need to accept it as the way things are:  you are you. After that you will be all right.” When she started meditating, the thought came back to her and she used the master’s advice, ‘I am who I am.’ From then on she could accept her life for what it is; whatever thought came to her, she acknowledged it and accepted it.

The story provides the answer for the original question because it is true that if we can accept the way things are, there is no problem at all. Situations are problematic now, because we cannot accept things the way they are. So it can be said that meditation is the practice to accept things. It could benefit you too!  Just learn it and put it into practice like the woman in the story.