Dhamma Talks - Love In Buddhism :: Buddhapadipa Thai Temple

Buddhism strongly advises Buddhists to practise and spread Brahma-vihara. This is known in English as the ‘Sublime Abodes’. The first of it is ‘Love’. Nevertheless the word love is rather ambiguous and has the surfaced meaning. Therefore Buddhism applies the word metta instead. Although both love and metta may have the similar expression, metta means “True love” or “Pure love” without the sensual connection. Metta is translated into English in such various facts as ‘friendliness, loving-kindness, benevolence, goodwill, universal love and true love.’ All of these words all human beings and animals without discrimination and conditions, regardless of race, faiths, and nationalities.

It should be noted here whilst speaking of ‘love’ in connection to metta, you must not be addled and get it wrong as physical attraction between a man and a woman when both fall in love. When a man and a woman fall in love their love is quite related to carnal appetites. And neither should you confuse it with any sort of a so-called love that is based on longing or craving for sense-pleasure and affection.

It is noticeable that this kind of love is ambiguous and it amounts to lustful desires and pressure with the sense. That is why when there is no physical attraction left between people who used to fall in love or there is no love lost between them (a husband and a wife or lovers) sadly they can turn out to hate one another. It is many a time we can see this problem.

According to the Majjihimanikay, one of the five collections of the Buddha’s teaching in Pali, the Buddha compared sense-pleasures to ‘a skeleton uneatable to a dog; a lump of flesh that causes quarrels amongst the hungry vultures; a handful of blazing grass that falls into a pit of burning embers; like a man gets fruits at the top of the tree while it is being cut down…’ Furthermore, love with means of sense-pleasures has the characteristic of selfish and self-centredness, i.e. craving and grasping for one’s own self. That’s all.