Love

Love is one thing that all of us need in life no matter where it is parental love, relative’s love, mate’s love etc. Love has two sides; good and not good. What are they? Let’s start with the one that is not good; it isn’t good because it is conditioned by desire and clinging, or attachment. This kind of love certainly ends up with disappointment or suffering. The good one is unconditioned by desire and clinging, or attachment, but instead it is conditioned by virtues such as gratitude, moral shame and dread etc. and this kind of love will produce happiness, peace, and fulfillment.

When we talk about love, one love which is always forgotten is the love of oneself. ‘To love oneself’ seems negative, as it sounds selfish. In fact, it is not that bad; let’s refer to Udana which the Buddha said when he was staying at the Jetavana temple near Savatthi. At that time, King Pasedikosala was with his queen, Mallika, and he asked her, “Mallika, who else other than yourself do you love?” She answered him, “Your majesty the King, there is no one whom I can love more than myself, and how about you?” He answered her, “Mallika, neither can I”.

After that, the king went to see the Buddha and reported to him the conversation between himself and his queen. Then the Buddha said, “As you love yourself, so do others. You should not bother others”.

It is true that we really love our life, others also love their life so we must love one another and help each other. This makes sense, so it is not selfish. If we think it over, everything starts with oneself; if we can take care of ourselves, we can take care of others. On the contrary, if we cannot, do this how can we take care of others? We would become a burden to others. Therefore, love yourself and take care of yourself.